i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
