We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
