I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
