That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
