i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
