So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
