it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
so let's talk penis.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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