did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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