At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
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Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
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Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
All the doctor said was why
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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