Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize