when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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