She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
