Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
