She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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