Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
