Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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