i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
