the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
