Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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