so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
