I like my sex mixed with concussions.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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