dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
