what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
