Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
