How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
