The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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