Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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