so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
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Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
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I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver