i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize