the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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