I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just gargled with NyQuil
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
