It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
