party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
