Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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