I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
