Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
