I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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