her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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