Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
