I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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