Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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