I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize