shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
no, he came in my armpit
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Congratulations! We have a period
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