I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
