C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
