You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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