Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
