Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
