if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
