I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
