God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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