I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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