I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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