it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
