My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
