"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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