If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
