I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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