she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.