If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Randomize
