We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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