i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just googled if crying burns calories
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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