Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
